How I became ashamed of my music, and why it is under threat from within

It's always the way. Having just got back from a truly cracking weekend at Knebworth and being generally in high spirits, I've gone and thoroughly got the arsehole. At first the cause was annoying, then it was boring- now it has made me ashamed. I've had enough.

First up, let me just emphasise my love for metal. I have no wish to try and sound like the target of a Brian Posehn song, I simply want to explain some of the things I adore. I am a fan of most styles to fall within the sphere of metal. I have a blind spot on hair metal- I've tried to like Motley Crue and Poison, but after multiple attempts we went our seperate ways amicably- but other than that there is no style I dislike. I don't claim to be an expert in every field- certainly my sludge knowledge could be improved- but I listen to more, I learn and my enjoyment of the wonderful world of distorted guitars grows yet larger. Obviously I have certain areas that interest me above others. Over the last few years, the sonic realms I have spent most time and effort rooting around in have been black and power metal. Wait, don't run away- this is not going to turn into a rant about how great they are. I'm barely going to talk about them actually, but my love for the evil and satanic and heroic and camp is the the crux of what has raised my ire. Namely, I'm almost becoming embarrassed to proclaim my adoration- not because of the lyrical content of either, the corpsepaint imagery or totally over the top nature, but because of the proclamations coming from other fans of this music.

The irony is that so many of said proclamations are damaging the very bastions they claim to be devoted to. There is a nauseating genre elitism permeating the extreme end of the metal spectrum and power metal. There is a (thoroughly daft) view that somehow these styles are somehow more valid, better and more METAL than other areas at the heavy end of rock music. This on its own I could tolerate, as much as it may annoy the living shite out of me. I think it frankly ridiculous that it isn't possible to like Watain (who are really very nasty), Black Breath (who *gasp* utilise breakdowns) and Dark Moor (who use lots of widdly keyboards and are very camp), but I really can't be shagged to get my ire up about the narrowmindedness anymore. What I cannot stomach is the desire to tell those who dare to enjoy Killswitch Engage that the music they like is crap, and that they are somehow killing metal. My irritation partially comes from the willful idiocy involved in that particular statement, partially because of the damage this obnoxious behaviour does to the reputation of the music I love, but particularly because it makes me ashamed. I am tainted by association, I feel.

Part of the lunacy involved in these proclamations is the vicious circle created. The perpetual excuse of the extreme metaller laying into hardcore is the attestation that hardcore kids are wankers. This is usually followed by a bleating whine about their years of being forced to defend their music to said hardcore kids. Naturally, this does not enamour this metaller to hardcore- fair enough, that might put me off myself, although I'd probably just stop talking to bell-ends instead. The barking mad part is the subsequent desire to deride fans of metalcore and hardcore they have never even met on the internet. Somehow, these deluded pillocks think that the ideal way to convert people to their way of thinking is to do the exact same thing that made them hate hardcore in the first place. In what mad world does it work like that? It is like the boy who tries to climb over an electric fence into a field and gets a shock, only for his mate to arrogantly try the exact same thing in the belief that he will fair better. You know what? The second boy gets a shock too! And yes, I am the second boy in question. Give me a break, I wasn't the sharpest tool in the drawer when I was nine years old.

Through current fans acting like complete and total tits, potential new fans are pushed away. That kid who's still finding his way through the maze of metal subgenres is put off from going down the path marked "Stratovarius" because of the bigger kid spitting abuse at him for having just come out of the tunnel with "Bring Me The Horizon" over the top. The bigger kid's actually rather lonely where he is and would like some company down Power Metal Alley, but in his rush to berate everyone for leaving him standing alone in the first place, he scares a potential friend away.

This insanity is putting potential recruits off the music. It is horribly damaging and utterly counterproductive- the phrase "cutting off one's nose to spite one's face" leaps rather Idowu-like to mind- but that is not the worst bit. What I simply cannot abide is the way all of this makes me feel. I will defend power metal to the hilt- ask any of the poor bastards I've badgered and bullied to listen to Fairyland- but to then turn around and see dogmatic fucktards (who clearly know far less about which they speak than they claim) dragging its name through the mud is too much. It is like standing up for your football club against claims of hooliganism only for a mass display of violence to break out at a home game. My feeling when I see this bilge coming from other power metal fans is similar to when I saw the footage of West Ham fans rioting down Green Street after the League Cup game against Millwall- shame by association. I almost feel like I'm a similar sized shitwad for belonging to the fanclub- I may take no part in the action, but I feel tarred with the brush myself.

My hope is that most of these pillocks will either grow out of their billious bombast or burn out, leaving those of us who do actually listen to other things to worship the widdly keyboard in peace. Until then, I'm just going to have to learn to live with it.

As if in proof, I'm going to stop listening to Blind Guardian and put on Feed The Rhino. I may even cut my hair into a fringe, shave off the beard and wear a hat. When all the people who claim to be the most metal are acting like arseholes, who wants to be metal?