Well, we're into 2010 now, which means there's been a slew of everyone with a keyboard giving their opinions as to what were the 20 best albums of 2009. This can be fun, comparing opinions with music fans and perhaps picking up a few tips on records you missed. A quick perusal of the usual magazines, blog sites and youtube has rapidly pointed out a few that I missed, just like last year. I, for reasons I can't quite fathom, completely ignored the new Dark Funeral album, which a number of people have listed in their top 20. I am clearly in need of a 500,000 blast-beat service for missing this album, as what I've heard is great. This is why these lists are a bit of fun and worth doing- A. They point out good records I may have missed, and B. They remind me I need the aforementioned service. What really irritates me more than sand under the foreskin is the bleating and bombast that goes with it, and has compelled me, after years of resisting, to start this blog.
To illustrate, perhaps I should list my top 20. This is not open for debate, I don't think I'm right and other people are wrong, this is just to illustrate a point.
20. Job For A Cowboy- Ruination
19. Anaal Nathrakh- In The Constellation Of The Black Widow
18. Municipal Waste- Massive Aggressive
17. Dark Moor- Autumnal
16. Marduk- Wormwood
15. Shadows Fall- Retribution
14. Malefice- Dawn Of Reprisal
13. Slayer- World Painted Blood
12. Sinocence- Scar Obscura
11. Sonata Arctica- Days Of Grays
10. DevilDriver- Pray For Villains
9. Xerath- I
8. Paradise Lost- Faith Divides Us - Death Unites Us
7. Viatrophy- Viatrophy
6. Ex Deo- Romulus
5. Mastodon- Crack The Skye
4. Behemoth- Evangelion
3. Fairyland- Score To A New Beginning
2. Immortal- All Shall Fall
1. Lamb Of God- Wrath
I'll just pause for four of the seven people reading this to leave in disgust at my appauling taste (or, more accurately, that my taste doesn't exactly match theirs) and for you remaining three to wipe the spittle that appeared on your monitor as you swore in vituperation at my patent wrongness. Clear? Can I get on with it now?
My point is, I am clearly wrong. I appear to be the only Megadeth fan who doesn't like Endgame, so I'm wrong for not putting that at number one, let alone not in there at all. I'm clearly wrong for including three power metal albums as "that's not metal!" (if you don't think I'm being ironic by now, you'd best leave) and for the virtual abscence of death metal barring JFAC who apparently "aren't metal" either. I'm clearly wrong for not including all the hardcore-related stuff that I probably would love if I had the time and money to track down.
What I'm trying (in my rambling and long-winded way) is that everyone- EVERYONE, even Dom Lawson- who puts together a top 20 is totally wrong. Especially me. Why? Because music is about taste. Do I genuinely think Fairyland released a "better" album than Mastodon? No. Do I enjoy Score To A New Beginning more than Crack The Skye? Yes. Do I think that anyone who disagrees with me on that is wrong? No. That I appear to be in the minority for this last viewpoint is what seriously hacks me off.
The aforementioned esteemed, venerable, righter-than-me Mr Lawson said in his most recent blog "If you don’t own a copy of Endgame yet, get to it. It was the finest metal album released in 2009 and one of the finest of the decade. Any other opinion is idiotic". While I suspect there may have been more than a touch of irony in that statement, you could replace Endgame with a host of albums and find hundreds of people who would genuinely believe that statement to be true. Last year I did a "best album of '08" video for youtube due to chronic boredom (Amon Amarth's Twilight Of The Thunder God won, if you wanted to know) and roughly two thirds of the comments it received were less repeatable variants on "you're wrong", "you're gay" or "that's not metal".
When will these morons realise it's just a fucking opinion??? Do they genuinely think my little 'Devil-makes-work-for-idle-hands' DIY video was a threat to the entire heavy metal movement because it included Disturbed and ignored Cynic? Do they actually care about music if they only listen to something because it belongs to a scene? Are they so backward and ignorant that the only response they can emit to a difference of opinion is homophobia?
Sadly this is what these lists reveal- many heavy metal fans are as stupid, ignorant and prejudiced as those who we, as metal fans, like to think of as stupid, ignorant and prejudiced for their refusal to listen to rock music. And all of these lists- every last one, even Beez's- they are all wrong, as taste can never be right or otherwise.
To stop sounding like a miserable old bastard, I will now go and order two albums I haven't got that have appeared in numerous top 20s- Dark Funeral's Angelus Exuro pro Eternus and Every Time I Die's New Junk Aesthetic. Because THAT'S NOT METAL!
Now kindly piss off.
Next week- exactly why I don't like Endgame, and why Five Finger Death Punch are going to be the biggest band in the world... whether I like it or not...
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